unplanned and unprepared

my first blog entry and it's a sad thought. being pregnant is supposed to be a happy experience, right? yes and no. yes, if you got pregnant and you're married and the no is from the otherwise. what's the point of this entry, you ask? i'd like to expound on the difference of being with child in your 30s and being pregnant at 16, 19. the reason why i decided to write this is that my daughter and i are in the wash room here in the mall and i saw a couple of teeners whispering. they have something in their hands and guess what it is? a pregnancy kit. and to think i thought they were whispering about their crushes or what-not. it's the what-not, i guess. and what-should-not-have-had. and i thought, again, that they just celebrated their sweet sixteens. i felt like i was doused with ice cold water. literally, i felt a shiver down my spine. it's sad how teeners miss out on being teeners and start being mothers. and i bet it is not even planned.

i didn't plan being pregnant at 30 and the second time around at 33 but what the heck! i am in my 30s. and even in my 30s i didn't even feel ready to have kids then. but life goes on. you go ahead and have the kids, work your ass off for them. so what about these teenage soon-to-be mom? to begin with, what and how does she tell her parents? do the sperm donor even care how difficult it is to blurt out the three words parents wouldn't like to hear during this time of their daughter's life? or is he planning now on how to win the new girl in his anatomy class? shit happens and sometimes it hits you right between the eyes (or should i say right between the legs?)

my brother and my sister in law were with me when i told my parents then. and let me tell you, they are not happy. they're even unhappier after three years when they learned i was on the way the second time. the way i look at it (and most people for that matter) there really is no good time to break the news gently to your parents that you are pregnant out of wedlock. but i know they'd rather hear it from you than from the gossip mill. and believe me, it would be a scene straight out of a telenovela. move over, kim chiu! here's a real-life teener about to break into drama minus the glitter and the fanfare of showbiz. and what about the supporting roles? the father and mother crying buckets over the tragedy of not being able to prevent this from happening? but it happened. and where do we go from here? do we get the shotgun and move heaven and earth to have the two lovebirds marry? or do we dry out our tears and bravely face the rough road ahead? it is a rough road but this is where we really need to prove the world we are rightly to be called parents.

and the next question will be: to keep or to give it away? but that's another blog entry.

but there, dear teener. are your eyes wide open now? i don't like to sound didactic but it's a fact of life. you have sex, there might be consequences. and sometimes, the consequence will be one you will not only carry for nine months, but for a lifetime.