Words

Very unusual meeting, or maybe a better phrase is very unusual virtual meeting. I was playing at one of those trivia chat rooms, minding my own business of trying to answer the questions as fast as I can when I received a message from this guy. I have this very generic chat nickname, bookfan (appended with my age and my gender), and of course he asked me what kinds of books I read. That started the ball rolling. We chatted a total of four hours that night. Before we logged out, he asked for my number. I don't usually give it out but this guy struck me as somehow decent and a very intelligent person so I obliged. But I didn't really expected him to text, much more call.

I was pleasantly surprised the next day when I got a morning greeting from him. We texted the entire time I commuted from the MRT to the office, that's more than half an hour travel. I learned from our chat the night before and during our first texting marathon that he is a doctor (an ophthalmologist from the Visayas, but he was born, bred and schooled in Manila but relocated there when he married, yes he is married!). He is 10 years my senior, the eldest in a family of four, he loves his job and his kids (read between the lines please), he loves the great outdoors, he is a coffee drinker, he doesn't smoke.

It had been four days and a hundred text messages exchanged and an hour or so of phone calls. On the second night we were texting, he already called me a friend. Third day, we were spending almost the entire day (and evening until 3 a.m.) exchanging calls and messages (of course, during times when he doesn't have a patient and when I need a break from the things I do at work and at home). He even told me that he'll be leaving for the US Friday evening and asked for my IM ID so we can keep in touch while he is there. Fourth day, as usual, we started texting at 6 a.m. until around 10 a.m. and he called me three times that morning. He said something that really made my heart leap, this is how the exchange went:

HE: do you open your ym?

ME: yes.

HE: that's great!

ME: yep, that's great talaga so i get to chat with you later.

HE: yesss :) i'll be using ym to keep in touch with you the whole trip. ok with you?

ME: that's fine.

HE: good to hear that. i don't want to be out of touch with you. :)

ME: same here

HE: am delighted to know that

ME: what can i say?

HE: sometimes words fall short of what we want to say and sometimes words just get in the way

I felt like I'm sixteen all over again. It was one of the sweetest things said to me. Ever.

After that exchange, the rest of the day was quiet. Not a single text message sent. I was hoping that he would be telling me that he is already off to the airport. Nothing. Nada. Nil.

I got worried: Did I say something wrong? Did I offend him one way or another? Or is he okay? Maybe he was in some trouble or something? I was thinking the whole day why he didn't even bother to say goodbye. Oh well, another one bites the dust. Easy come, easy go. And all the other cliches I can think of.

Saturday came. I woke up and opened my IM, no message still. The entire day, my IM is open and not a peep or even a buzz from him. I was starting to lose hope and while playing my online game, he sent me a message. I was kind of scared. Maybe he will be telling me that everything's a mistake and we should forget about our "friendship". But no, he was so apologetic about not being able to contact me earlier but something really bad happened. His brother, whom he will be running in a marathon with, had just died. I can feel he was really devastated. I tried to console him as much as I could. And even if I thought it was inappropriate, I told him that I missed him. He said he missed me as well. And he said that he needed a hug right then and he wished I'm the one who will give it to him, he also asked if it's inappropriate for him to say that and of course I said it's not.

I chatted with dozens of guys but this guy is a different breed (I really hope so!). He didn't even ask me to describe myself. Guys from chat rooms usually ask that and this one did not. He didn't even mention that he wanted me to go to bed with him.

He will be further away for two weeks, I won't get to communicate with him as much as I wanted to but I think this is a test for us. I hope we both pass it.