From A to Z

My friend Anna and I were chatting earlier and we're discussing our love lives (or the lack thereof) and I was ranting and raving about men being all alike and all that shit when I brilliantly suggested that since I'm having a hard time keeping guys in my life, I would breeze through it by dating men with names, one at a time albeit, that starts with all the letters of the alphabet. Maybe Anna and I had too much time in our hands but she willingly went through the silly thing with me.

We started with A. Since this talk started with dating a younger guy, we began with Ashton Kutcher. I suggested someone local, Akihiro Sato. Okay, nice bod. Bfor Biolo Bascual (we can't think of someone else but feel free to suggest, guys!). For C, I suggested Charlie Sheen. Yes, Anna said, he's cute. So on to D. I was about to suggest a name when Anna said I should be careful as to who I will suggest for the letter, of course, since she's my friend, I said Dingdong Dantes. (She absolutely loves Derek Ramsay so I didn't dare mention his name). Now withE, I said Eigenmann, Geoff. Easy one, huh? With F, I stupidly said Fiolo Fascual, and that started me laughing my ass off (I think I really can't get over the fact that he has a different preference with regards to you-know-what!). Anna said she's laughing as well and someone might think she's losing her marbles laughing all by herself!

G of course, is for Gabby Concepcion (I am channeling Sharon Cuneta during herDear Heart days now). I told Anna since he was my first crush in showbiz, he should occupy a place in my alphabet dating game! Now with H, that's one

tough cookie to crumble. I suggested Henry Omaga Diaz and that started another round of laughter (my kids are now eyeing their mother with trepidation, she's losing it, Abiel might be thinking). Anna suggested Hajji Alejandro and I agreed with the premise that he is acceptable since he was the original "kilabot ng mga kolehiyala". I suggested Ishko Moreno for I. Anna gave Ichard Gomez's name.

Anna typed in rico J puno and I of course said, we're not on R yet. That's for J, she said. I don't like it, I said and suggested Jejomar Binay. (This game is making me forget my problem!) of course, this began another exchange of "panlalait":

ANNA: eeew, ang jitim mother!

ME: oo nga, baka pati singit, majotim!

(LAUGHTER)

ANNA: jalosjos ...

ME: yikes! pedophile alert!!!!

Okay, so on to K. Kiko Pangilinan, Anna typed in. Okay, I said since I am again on Sharon Cuneta mode. With L, who would Anna suggest but the senator with the most numbers of bills passed (or so his camp says) Lito Lapid. Gross! I said, since we're talking about senators I'd rather date Lacson, Ping, I told Anna. Good thing she didn't say Lapu-Lapu. For M, Anna suggested Manny Pacquiao, Manny Villar and Manny Pangilinan. I asked, why them? She said Manny = Money. Nooo! She gave another name, Mark Herras since she said I like younger guys. Of course between the three Mannys and Mark, it's a no brainer.

For N, we simultaneously typed in NINO MUHLACH, but no thanks. Neri, Victor. Okay, the bad-boy-image actor won over the ex-child wonder of Philippine movies. Hmm... we're getting really good at this game. O is now for two boxers and a news reporter: Onyok Velasco (junano!), Oscar dela Hoya (mother, manghihiram ng stockings mo yan!) and of course Omaga Diaz, Henry. For P, of course, Piolo Pascual. Anti-climactic na kasi kanina ko pa ipinagpipilitan ang name nya!

Q is a really tough one: Anna is so stubborn she still suggested PacQuiao. WTF! I'd settle for Quentin Tarantino, thank you very much! Now for R, we had a blast on this one. She wittingly suggested Rustom Padilla (that's bad!). She still wouldn't give up on the Padillas and gave Rommel Padilla. I asked her, could this game go any worse? It could have been lest she suggested the general of the world army headquarters or something to that effect, whats-his-name Padilla? Oh yeah, Royette! Well, if Anna is insisting on one of the Padilla brothers, I'd settle for Robin. :) (Another Sharon Cuneta ex-boyfriend) Hindi naman halatang maka-Sharon ako, ano?

I think Anna has something against me by suggesting for S, Swarding. But she suggested another one, Samboy Lim. Okay, that's better. For T, flawlessly she suggested Troy Montero. Hooray, Anna hit the target on that one. I sooo love him, before AM entered the picture (Aubrey Miles, gaga, not Amalia Fuentes!). With U, she gave Uncle Bob of Channel 7 vintage. No way, I told her he's way too wholesome (and too dead) for me. I'd rather date Umberto Eco. Author of Name of the Rose and Foucault's Pendulum. Okay, this man maybe physically unsexy but boy, is he smart!

With V, the silliness began again. Vito Cruz and Victor Wood. Well we know Vito Cruz as a street and as a station of the LRT Line 1, and he's sooooo dead. Victor Wood? He's committed, I think, to Madame Auring so I'd rather skip him. You wouldn't want to cross Madame Auring's path when she's in love. She might put a hex on me and send me to V---- Valenzuela! Now my daughter is one intelligent girl, and seeing what her mother and her friend is doing, gave the name VICTOR ALIWALAS. Okay, he gets the honor of dating me!

W is for either Wesley Snipes or Wally Bayola. Let me ponder on it for a while and get back to you.

I thought the next letter's gonna be difficult but Anna's a fast one: she suggested the X-men! Andami nun ah! But wala kasi eh, so the X-men it is.

Yilmaz Bektas is for Y. Anna is just scared I might get electrocuted while in the bathtub. That makes it more exciting though ...

And finally, it's a toss between Zam Milby and Zanjoe Marudo. And the winner is: of course, Mariel's ex. I wouldn't be caught dead with Zam Milby. Besides, I'm not his type.

:)